Values Mapping Exercise
Most people can name their values. Very few can say which five actually drive their decisions. This exercise closes that gap.
Values are not aspirations. They are not the qualities you wish you had or the things you think you should care about. They are the things you actually care about — the things that, when absent from your work or life, leave you feeling hollow, resentful, or vaguely wrong. This exercise helps you identify them with precision.
How this works
The exercise has three stages. Each stage takes about 5–10 minutes. Do not rush Stage 1 — the quality of your final list depends on the honesty of your initial responses. Work in writing throughout. Thinking without writing produces vague answers; writing forces specificity.
Mine your experience
Before you look at any list of values, answer these questions from memory. You are looking for raw material — moments and patterns from your own life.
Describe a moment in your work or life when you felt most alive, most engaged, most like yourself. What was happening? What made it feel that way?
Describe a moment when you felt most drained, most resentful, or most wrong. What was absent or being violated?
Think of a decision you made that you are genuinely proud of — not because of the outcome, but because of how you made it. What guided you?
Think of a time you compromised something important to you. What did you compromise? How did it feel?
Extract and name
Read back through your Stage 1 answers. Underline or circle any words or phrases that point toward something you care about deeply. Then try to name the underlying value in one or two words. You are looking for the thing beneath the thing — not 'I felt alive when I was leading a team' but 'leadership' or 'impact' or 'connection', depending on what specifically made it feel alive.
From your Stage 1 answers, list every value word or phrase that appears — including ones you have to infer. Aim for 10–20 candidates. Do not edit yet.
Now look for duplicates and near-duplicates. 'Freedom', 'autonomy', and 'independence' might all be pointing at the same underlying value. Group them.
From your grouped list, identify the 8–10 values that feel most true. Not most admirable — most true.
Prioritise ruthlessly
This is the hardest stage. You are going to narrow your list to five. Not because the others don't matter, but because you need to know which five matter most — the ones that, if consistently violated, would make any life feel wrong regardless of its other qualities.
Take your 8–10 values and ask: if I had to give up all but five of these, which five would I keep? Write your answer without overthinking it.
Now test each of your five. For each one, ask: has there been a time in my life when this value was consistently violated? How did it feel? If the answer is 'not that bad, actually', it may not be a core value.
Write your final five in order of importance. For each one, write one sentence describing what it looks like when this value is being honoured in your life.
Using your values map
Your five values are a decision-making tool. When you face a significant choice — a job offer, a relationship decision, a major commitment — run it through your values. How many of your five does it honour? How many does it violate? This won't make the decision for you, but it will make the trade-offs visible. Revisit this exercise once a year. Values can shift, and the map that was accurate at 30 may not be accurate at 40.
Want to go deeper on your values?
Values work is where career and life coaching gets real. If you want to explore what your values mean for your specific situation, book a free discovery call.
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